33)#102-15. Don't Know What to Call This- But I Hate Goodbyes..

I can't believe this, but we finally reached the end..

Last class was quite something. Believing that the same name would bring us victory, we -Sevda, Nazlı, Seren and I- called ourselves "The Cheesecakes" and guess what? It worked, it really did bring us luck! We won the pub quiz. On a further note, I realized that we were the highest scoring group out of all classes. I think that is what you would call being on cloud nine :)

Unfortunately, I couldn't hang around the clouds too much because I realized that this was our last class as C2 :/ Then Sonja started out handing out her homemade cookies... I was so touched! I never had a teacher give me anything other than a piece paper with a grade on, so this meant a lot to me. Thank you Sonja for this caring farewell gift. Those cookies were DELICIOUS!! ^(-o-)^

The final task given to us was to fill in each other's daisies with our thoughts. Basically, we had to answer the question, "What do I think of you?" I hope everyone liked what I wrote since I was fond of everyone in the room, but of course, there were a few people who got a bit of extra writing from me since I've become very close to them over time thanks to ENG102. As I am writing this, I still catch myself stealing glances from my own daisy, so thank you everyone for your kind remarks. I appreciate them a lot :) I must say that this was quite a cute idea Sonja. I think your future students might like this activity as well :D

End of classes means end of blogging - for now! I am not making any promises, but I know I'll keep writing somehow somewhere... If you are interested in the things I write, let me know and I'll send them to you ;)

Ahhh...my last words...I really don't want to do this, but I have to...
Sonja, I'll truly miss you. I was very lucky to have a teacher like you in my freshman year, but you already know that ;) I'll say goodbye to you in person. After all, we still have one more mission ;) Anyhow, I had to share my feelings with the world ha-ha-ha :D

I wonder if anyone would miss me though.. :P ;)

Anyways, it's all from me folks!
Peace.

32)#102-14. Group Blue Proudly Presents... and Thanks!

This Monday was very special for me because it was my birthday =) Coincidentally, I had my seminar presentation on the very same day. Sevda, Nazlı and I, the ‘fierce’ members of group blue, were all dressed in blue from head to toe. Unfortunately, nobody noticed :/

Anyways, we went to our classroom FASS1081 to prepare everything beforehand. After Nazlı who introduced our presentation, Sevda started it off by explaining the features of black language. Following her, I explained the family identity of the Breedloves. I tried to analyze the family as a whole and its members as individuals. I also used a chart to explain the latter. I must thank Nazlı and Sevda for improving my computer skills. It took some time for me to accomplish that;)

Finally, it was Nazlı’s turn to talk about the Civil Rights Movement. On a closing note, we played “Black Magic Woman” by Fleetwood Mac. While we were preparing the group work of our presentation on Saturday, the coffee at Cafe Crown must have inspired us because that is when we got this idea to use a blues song at the end of our presentation.

Overall, how did Group Blue’s presentation go? I think it went pretty well. I enjoyed explaining the material to my fellow classmates. The only thing that bothered me was no matter how much I tried to interact with the audience, I was not able to succeed. That was a bummer :( My group members suffered from the same problem. We tried to explain more and give hints about the questions we posed, but we had no luck.. I do not know what we could have done more really.

The highlight of the presentation was actually what happened afterwards. When Sonja asked the class to sing “Happy Birthday” for me, I was really touched. I went bright red. I was sooooooo happy. Yes, even though I’m supposedly an adult, I still feel like a kid on days like this. I want to thank everyone, first and foremost Sonja and then my classmates, for doing such a nice thing. I’ll always cherish that moment :)

Ahh, I’ve written a lot today. You’re free to harass me about the length of this post if you like ;)
Peace.

31)#102-13. Presentations- All Racing in My Head...

This is one hectic weekend, but I still need to do my weekly update :D

The final presentations started this week. I was sitting in the middle of the classroom with my pen and paper ready, looking very journalist-like (Can you see my potential? ^^ lol jk). For those who were intimidated, I'm saying this to comfort you.. I'm a severe note-taker. Basically, I can't and won't stop taking notes! I don't want to forget anything.. I need to write a review after all and these notes really help. I recommend it to everyone. Try it.. you'll thank me later^^

Other than that Nazli, Sevda and I met in the city yesterday to prepare our presentation. In my opinion, we came up with some pretty creative ideas to include our audience during the presentation, so please look forward to it. We are still working on final details, but on monday, we'll show what we've got ;)

On another note, tomorrow is also my birthday :) I'm sorry I cannot hold it in. I'm like a kid; I still get excited for each birthday^^ Hopefully, tomorrow will rock or something awesome will happen hahaha!

Image taken from: http://actingwhite.blogspot.com/2009/08/acting-white-blue-eyes-vs-balck-skin.html

xoxo

30)#102-12. The Way Love is..

Now that the novel is over, what should I talk about?

First of all, I'd like to congratulate my group members, please don't mind our lame group name 'The Cheesecakes'(I don't remember when and how we got named like that, but whatever!). We stressed out like mad, but won in the end, so yay! (:

Secondly, I'd like to mention a quote in the 'Summer' part of the novel.

* This sentence really caught my eye, "Love is never any better than the lover." I think Morrison touches a great point here. I definetely agree with her. The identity of a person affects how that person treats other people- especially her/his lover. If you go to the last page of the novel to find this quote, the following of the quote is just as interesting. "Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly, stupid people love stupidly.." I really like the way Morrison illustrated this idea of love in connection with one's personality. Wouldn't you agree with what she is saying? I definetely do so.. We love people the way we are, and we cannot be any different.

* The reasons don't matter, I do not care: "Cholly, you bastard!"(Sorry for being so straight-forward, Sonja, but somebody needs to put it out there!)

29)#102-11. Blueberry Crumbles Never Meant This Much!

Up to now, we've been discussing the main themes of The Bluest Eye. In my opinion, racial self-hatred and the distorted perception of beauty are the most significant ones, so I tried to find an image to symbolize them both. This is completely made up, so you can disagree. Like I mentioned, I just brainstormed and found this on my own. I wanted to try a different writing style as well, so here it goes...

'Blueberry crumbles'

1) In terms of racial self-hatred, one should clearly understand the scene between pages 107 and 109. Here, Pauline's daughter Pecola accidently drops the blueberry pie which her mother had never made for her. However, it is a routine dessert she makes for the white little girl who wears 'a pink sunback dress with pink fluffy slippers.' The little white girl is the princess and Pecola is the ugly duckling.

When Pecola smashes the pie, Pauline sees the 'ugly duckling' she has given birth to. Anger explodes as she beats the daughter she can't look in the eye. On a subconcious level, I think Pecola's condition reminds Pauline of her own ugliness and that is why she takes it out on Pecola.

2) In terms of the distorted perception of beauty, I hinted on the former clause. In the book, there is a serious portrayal of the 'white princess vs. black ugly duckling' conflict(I coined the term myself). In this scene, the little girl starts crying when she sees the blueberry crumbles. Even though eating blueberry pies is a usual thing for her, she cries and garners the affection of Pauline; whereas, Pecola gets a severe beating. The white girl gains attention because of her princess-like characteristics; however, even though it is a small mistake anyone could have made, Pecola is treated brutally. Her looks victimize her in the eyes of her mother. The distorted perception of beauty declares the winner and the loser in an unfair way.

'Pie' by AriCee under CC Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.0 Generic

28)#102-10. What Was Right Back Then?? [A Question of Morality]

Now that spring break is over*sobs*, I can get back to blogging. This entry is for week 10.

During our off-week, I read the ‘winter’ and ‘spring’ sections and I noticed a pattern. Why must all adult characters have some kind of perversion?!? Cholly impregnates his daughter; Soaphead Church is a pedophile; Mr. Henry sexually assaults Claudia and spends time with prostitutes... this list can go on. I must ask, “Was it that bad?!?” I mean those times was not the best of times, but why is every character morally corrupt? It really bothered me when I read the book.

Like I mentioned in my previous entry, the self-hatred of African-Americans (because of internalization of the white perception etc.) also bothered me. In class, we talked a lot about this issue and as I’d like to call upon ‘the doll quote’ which effectively illustrates the topic at hand. As Simge already knows, I do not like dolls(if you are that curious why I don’t like them, see her entry 'The Bluest Eye' and no, I did not get paid to advertise her blog, it is just because I want to :P).

I’ll blog about week 11 later…

If anyone would like to harass me-jk- or just randomly say hello, please do so. I like comments very much though I seem to have a limited audience :’(

'I Hate How Much I Love You' by shewatchedthesky under CC Attribuition-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic

27)#102-9. You're Beautiful Just Because..

Having read the first part of the Bluest Eye, I was appalled to see how much self-hatred the characters had for themselves. The character that appalled me the most was Pecola actually. Pecola lives like a shadow, constantly reminded of ugliness. She is devoid of love. Indeed, she poses the question, "how do you get someone to love you?" That is how desperate she is. The only hope she has is having blue eyes, eyes that will redeem her in others' minds.. Eyes that will get her noticed and make her beautiful. Finally, those eyes will make people love her..


The real dilemma I will address here is not how an 11 year old girl came to such a conclusion, but WHO decides what is 'beautiful' and what is 'ugly.' Physical appearance that we are so obsessed with, why does it have to define attractiveness? I might sound like an old lady for saying this, but what happened to "having a heart of gold"? Traits like modesty, consideracy, conscienciousness...what happened to them?

To be honest, there are days that I question these things myself, but luckily I have the most amazing people, first and foremost my parents, in my life to remind me when I get frustrated that I do not need somebody else's approval to be this-or-that. They'll love me the way I am-not because I confirm some sort of a societal criteria. So when my friend asks me if she looks beautiful, I'll say, "Yes, because you look like yourself.."
'Beauty 6' by Leah Makin Photography under CC Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic

26)#102-8. Last Week Was A Nerdy One..

Now that the presentations, term papers, and midterms are over for now, I can officially get back to updating my beloved blog :) This entry will be for the previous week.

On the 5th of April, we, group blue, had to face the truth. The truth ended up being equal to about 70 e-mails(as unbelievable that sounds, I am being serious. I actually counted!), 2 meetings and a couple phone calls...We made our presentation to an audience of 3 people which was quite an irony within itself. Nevertheless, I still felt comfortable(less people to please-YES!). My AMAZING group members and I were very nervous and excited at the same time. We were pleased with the outcome. However, hopefully, we'll do even better for our final presentation which will be on my birthday, so basically, I want to make it rock again XD

Other than the presentations, of course, we had our research papers due that weekend. With the recent midterms and projects in my mind, I just thought, "Hmmm.. this just keeps getting better and better." Anyhow, I did what I had to do. I based my paper on the Asian American 'model minority' stereotype with a special focus on Asian American students. It was a fun assignment for me as I was already wondering about the topic beforehand.

All that is left for me to say about my paper is.. make mama proud!!

Image: 'peter pan syndrom' by RaymondPhotography under CC Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic

25)#102-7. The ‘Honor’ Mark

This past week we had two other presentations. First of all, I’d like to congratulate the group members for trying to give best presentation they can in one of the most hectic weeks of the semester, so give yourselves a clap :)

Secondly, here comes my review of the texts...

I think Emily is one of the obsessive female characters I’ve read about in my entire life. She seems to be infatuated by death, and call me ‘harsh’, but she is really selfish. Letting go of others is probably the most difficult thing one has to learn; however, Emily stubbornly refuses. She holds on to both her father and so-called lover. I don’t think she’s being fair to these men. Let them rest in peace, Emily!

Let’s move on to Hanife…

There’s so much to say about her story. Hanife’s story is real just as many other young woman’s who were victimized by honor killings. Since I am a young woman as well, hearing about things like this makes my heart ache. Knowing that you could be one of those women… you just weren’t because you were lucky enough to be born into your family...It is just too much to bear. I hope someday all women can be free because of the simplest reason; everybody has the right to be so!

Another point I cannot resist to make is this: As I was discussing Hanife with a friend of mine, I realized something else. The word ‘honor’ actually translates to ‘onur’ in Turkish; however, when we translate ‘namus’ (after all, honor killings are all in the name of ‘namus’ ),we translate it as ‘honor’ to English. Does anyone else see what I see? Isn’t something really wrong here? Don’t you realize that this word is ‘marked’? Think of Deborah Tannen’s article Marked Women. Unfortunately, this ‘mark’ is specific to the Turkish language as far as I know. It sickens me to realize this, but I think this is one of those issues where the society needs to evaluate itself: How can you speak of honor when you kill too many innocent young women to count?

Explain that.

Image: 'Vanessa in Sepia' by NMCIL ortiz domney under Creative Commons Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.0 Generic License

24)#102-6. This Party Stinks + SAVE US!!!

My weekly update:

On Monday, we were assigned to read “A Party Down at the Square” by Ralph Ellison. Though the discussion wasn’t very smooth, I managed to pick up a few important points. The one that struck me the most was the dehumanization of the African American man. The way the author described him had irked me before, but when it was pointed out that it was intended to be that way, I was bewildered. The narrator thought of a barbecued hog when he saw that man on fire! How careless can you be??? I need to admit though. He brilliantly got his message across by being careless. You can definitely understand how African American people were treated at the time if you read “A Party Down at the Square.” That’s why it was really hard for me to digest what I read…

Wednesday’s class was probably the most beneficial yet. As if Sonja knew my questions about the APA format all along, I received a lot of answers that will come in handy while I’ll be writing my research paper. In addition, we, group blue, are to make a presentation next week and with the midterms and the TLL paper, all I can say is: GOD, SAVE US!

23)#102-5. "I Have a Dream..We're Gonna Work It Out, Out, Out"

Because English courses are related to sociology topics at SU, we had the chance to discuss many important issues like gender and race. Last class in particular was quite important for me because we were assigned to read a Martin Luther King text. Ever since we started discussing the theme of identity, Martin Luther King started to stand out for me day by day. I think I began to understand what he had to overcome at those times a bit better than I used to. I wish we had more time to talk about him..

Since King is famous for his 'I Have a Dream' speech, I'd like to share a song that was dedicated to him and this particular speech. It is rap song produced by Common and Will.i.am for the film Freedom Writers whose main star is Hilary Swank (Freedom Writers is a film that deals with heavy issues such as; gang violence, racism, poverty, love etc. Overall, in my opinion, the film is average. The issues could have been explored with more depth but what makes it important for me is the message. That is why if you get a chance, please watch the film. The world is not the same for everybody.. Keep that in mind before watching Freedom Writers). Anyways, the song also features Martin Luther King's voice. Some of you might have heard it already, but I still want to share it since there is great meaning, in my opinion, behind those words.

[Chorus - Will.i.am and Martin Luther King]

(I am happy...I Have a Dream) I got a Dream

(That One Day ) Were gonna work it out out out

(That One Day ) Were gonna work it out out out

(That One Day ) Were gonna work it out

(I Have a Dream) I got a Dream

(That One Day ) Were gonna work it out out out

(That One Day ) Were gonna work it out out out

(That One Day ) Were gonna work it out

(I Have a Dream) I got a Dream

(That One Day) That one day

(That One Day) I'ma look deep within myself

(I Have a Dream) I gotta find a way...

My Dream Is To Be Free My Dream Is To Be

My Dream Is To Be My Dream Is To Be Free

[Verse 1] In search of brighter days, I ride through the maze of the madness,

Struggle is my address, where pain and crack lives,

Gunshots comin' from sounds of Blackness,

Given this game with no time to practice,

Born on the Black list, told I'm below average,

A life with no cabbage,

That's no money if you from where I'm from,

Funny, I just want some of your sun Dark clouds seem to follow me,

Alcohol that my pops swallowed bottled me,

No apology, I walk with a boulder on my shoulder,

It's a Cold War - I'm a colder soldier,

Hold the same fight that made Martin Luther the King,

I ain't usin' it for the right thing,

In between Lean and the fiens, hustle and the schemes, I put together pieces of a Dream

I still have one

[Chorus]

[Verse 2] The world's seen me lookin' in the mirror,

Images of me, gettin' much clearer,

Dear Self, I wrote a letter just to better my soul,

If I don't express it then forever

I'll hold, inside I'm from a side where we out of control,

Rap music in the 'hood played a fatherly role,

My story's like yours, yo it gotta be told,

Tryna make it from a gangsta to a godlier role,

Read scrolls and stow slaves,

And Jewish people in cold cage,

Hate has no color or age, flip the page,

Now my rage became freedom,

Writin' dreams in the dark, they far but I can see 'em,

I believe in Heaven more than Hell,

Blessings more than jail, In the ghetto let love prevail,

With a story to tell, my eyes see the glory and well,

The world waitin' for me to yell "I Have a Dream"

[Chorus]

Image: 'martin-luther-king-smile' by Nelson Piedra (Nopiedra) under CC Attribuition Non-Commercial No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic

22)#102-4. “WHO is bullying WHOM?” The question I pose to humanity..

Since I am on medical leave, I have to study all by myself, but anyways, I am determined to make the best out of this unexpected break of mine =)

I thought that this sociology article was quite interesting; therefore, there are a few points that I’d like to discuss in this post.

*I had always wondered why Asian Americans were called ‘yellow.’ I mean they are not yellow. Their skin color is just as white as someone of Caucasian origin. In this text, I found my answer. Apparently, it is because they are white-r. I am sorry but that is --------------! (Feel free to fill in the space yourself.)

*This article made me understand that race is nothing but a social weapon that some people use against each other in order to have just a bigger share of the pie. In Turkey, schools do not emphasize this part really. Most people assume that race is biologically constructed. It couldn’t be more wrong. It is a social concept that needs help ASAP. We should value personality- not race.

*As I read more about what a dominant group is, I realized that they are just like the bullies that made my life miserable when I was in middle school. It is pathetic to see that. I guess people don’t mature with age either…

* The part that struck me the most on a personal level was the gender stereotypes. Unfortunately, in my country, this stereotype is considered ‘normal.’ You can hear many men saying, “A women can’t do this… can’t do that..”, “Women always block the traffic.” and “Women should just be a housewife.” AAAAAAARGH! I cannot stand it when I hear comments like that. The other day I was taking to my friend, and she told me about this guy who kept stalking her. She mentioned that he kept saying things like “A girl can never beat me..A girl can never be as smart(as me)..” I swear if he said that to me, I would have given him a taste of what it feels like to be in hell!!!! It is disappointing to see that guys like that are at a university like this. Why can’t it be someone who is better rather than a girl/boy being better than a boy/girl?

*Stereotype interchangeability was also an interesting read. There are a lot of people who are unemployed in this country so I’ve never thought of blaming them for it. Being poor because of laziness..that does not sound applicable in Turkey. At least, that is what I think.

*On page 323 of this article, there is an example which features a Chinese American couple. I think it presents the discrimination-prejudice relationship in a completely different light. Honestly, I was quite surprised when I read it. Make sure that you read it too.
Finally, I’ll end my post with an open-ended question. I think you will understand my point when you read it.
-
-
WHY CAN’T WE JUST GET ALONG?

21)#102-3. Combining My Interest and Curiosity- Topic Selection p(*＾-＾*)q

I certainly channeled my inner-nerd this weekend. After searching a lot of databases and collecting seemingly useful articles, I went through all of them to sort out the unnecessary ones and make a list of prized articles =) After re-evaluating them, I decided on my topic. I want to write my research paper on the stereotypes of Asian Americans which is option two. However, here comes the tricky part, I plan to feature adolescents. Adolescence is option three, but with this paper, I do not plan on examining adolescents’ identity formation in a detailed manner as stated in the description of that option. My main focus will still be stereotypes of this particular group. Basically, I want to include a bit of option three in option two. Now, doesn’t that sound intriguing Sonja? ;)

Why would I be interested in this topic? I reckon this question will pop in a lot of people’s minds. Well, for those who do not know me that much, I guess I should put it out there. I am quite-no, actually a lot- interested in Asia. I listen to K-pop and J-pop and watch Asian dramas. If SPS would ever give me a break, I’d love to read the works of Haruki Murakami, but that prospect does not seem promising (=_=) Anyways, in order to expand my knowledge, I want to see how Asian people who are now identified with another geography are really like. Asian Americans are always pictured as smart, hardworking and quiet. I really doubt this notion, so I want to investigate it. Stereotypes no matter how positive they might seem hinder people, so I’m looking forward to the truth behind them. Research paper, here I come---!

o(^^o)(o^^)o わくわく

Image: 'PB160002' by rcmaclean under CC Attribution 2.0 Generic License

20)#102-2.The Numeric Reference in Oates

For some reason I cannot post images from CC, so as a substitute, here is a picture I found on Google:http://anmolastrologers.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/numerology11.jpg

Last class we discussed the short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was able to capture a deeper meaning of the story thanks to my fellow class mates.

Those who were in section C2 that afternoon might remember my unusual connection between the Bible and the numbers 33, 19, and 17. Of course, this was discovered when I did some background research on the story.

Anyways, I am going to write what I tried to explain that day. The biblical connection is as follows. 33 refers to the 33rd book(Book of Judges), 19 is the chapter number and 17 is the verse number. Interestingly, the Book of Judges is a Bible written in Hebrew and when you look in it as I say, you are supposed to see that there is a line which goes, “Whither goest thou? And whence comest thou?” Does this ring a bell? Yes, it is the title of the short story. When I saw this I was shocked for words and I thought that Ms. Oates was one hell of a writer!

19)#102-1. Demystifying “The Sound of Silence”?

The Sound of Silence.. This song has left a deep impression on me. The reason for that is even now I cannot wrap my head around on what it means exactly. It is quite frustrating :/

Since the meaning of the lyrics is ambiguous, I thought I would just elaborate on how these lines made me feel when I heard them the first time. This way, I hope to understand Benjamin, the protagonist of our in-class film The Graduate, a bit better.

In the beginning, the song made me feel like I was all alone. I was in the dark where no one else could reach me. I felt slightly sad. In the middle, my loneliness progressed in an unexpected way. Unlike the beginning of the song, I knew that there were many people around me; however, I could not relate. Random people passing and speaking with muted words was replaced with the soft and rather melancholic melody of the music. It felt like I was floating amongst the crowd. From the outside, I looked like just an ordinary person, but my soul was rebelling, rebelling for freedom..I wanted to be different just like Benjamin wanted. Unfortunately, my soul could not break away. It wanted to reach others that were drowning, but it couldn’t.

Finally, the sound of silence..

Of course, this is just what my emotions appeared to be when I heard The Sound of Silence. There is neither right nor wrong, so please feel free to add your own impression of the song. I’m curious about other people’s views: DDD

18. Sayonara :/

We made our presentations, blogged, wrote a process essay and an exam

And now…

it is d-day that we have to say goodbye.. I’ll truly miss my ENG101 class. I met wonderful people there. Hopefully, we will still be in the same classes next semester! I wish everybody the best and I’ll see you soon :)

Till then,
Sayonara..!

Hazal

17. My Final Presentation Notes

Here is my part:

Plot Summary
Brandon Teena: transsexual, troublemaker and liar from Lincoln, Nebraska
Meets John, Candace & Tom at a bar
Moves to Falls City, Nebraska
Meets Lana
Starts hanging out with John’s crew, wasting time at “middle-of-nowhere”
Starts dating Lana, John’s ex-girlfriend
Detained for his old crimes back home, imprisoned at the women’s side of the jail
Lana bails him out
The truth gets out
Rape
Murder

The Plot versus the Reality
· Double vs. triple murder
· Philip DeVine and Candace=Lisa Lambert
· Execution style:
*The bed X The living room and the hallway
* Bullet wound to the right eye( shot twice)
· Confiding in others, alienation vs. only her family(cousin)
· Sexual abuse
· Bail: Lana vs. Tom
· Brandon vs. Lana leaving the party
· Brandon in contact with his sister Tammy and Tammy calls Laux
· Weaponry: Rope, hatchet and a gun
· John and Tom go to Lincoln
· The presence of Brandon’s mother
· Lana’s reaction